I came across a very useful social eye-opener discussion hosted over here through Iyer123 forums. The specified post is in Tamil language and there are a lot of comments and requests from a lot of them to have it translated into a lingua franca platform for better appreciation of the reality. This post is a verbatim translation of the said article. You may comment and/or express opinion on the same. And when time permits let us try to have the comments translated and conveyed to the original author through their blog. Over to the translation.
Tamil, even though, it is our native language had been a little challenging for me to translate it verbatim. Hence I apologize if the translation has grammatical errors. I would appreciate if you could point out disparities as comments to this post.
What started as a noble wedding gift from bridal party to the matrimonial home took off an ugly figure through dowry and what is otherwise called as streedaan. There had been a large hue and cry from the various parts of the society that by virtue of giving a streedaan the groom is treated like a commodity and marriage is becoming akin a barter system. Things kept rolling by with the wheel of time when the dowry demands faded away and either of the parties were willing to help out through the marital setup.
Despite this democratic wave that has ascended the marriage stage our society witnesses a steep fallout of stable and sacred marriages, sorry to the sad state that bridal parties are geared towards turning a marriage market into a potential money-market. Worst yet even the most aged spinster tries to see if she is able strike out a valuable proposition in the monetary scale on the marriage market. The sad part of the story is that the parents of the bride try to see if they can ‘send off’ their wards by striking a good booty. And more outwardly speaking they have begun to treat their wards as a saleable commodity.
Today’s wedding trade (let us dub as slaughterhouse flesh trade) doesn’t discriminate harlots and housewives. While the former gets a one-time payment and the latter ensured a regular princely lifestyle. Society dubs this lifestyle as modernity. If one is not blessed with cash both of the above are elusive things. At least other societies try to see if the bride or groom are good character but sorry to say that the priestly brahmin community gives and attributes paramount importance and significance only to the money-power and muscle-power. Even if the groom is a marriage-eligible relative in their own lineage they to devise lame excuses of diversified plethora and make good their escape. Some of the crappy excuses are “My daughter is an engineering grad and he is just a M. Com. She is earning more than 40000 and he is just earning 15000 per month”. They end up measuring the statuses on a monetary scale.
Worse yet the girls have learnt the trick of trade by emulating their parents’ monetary greed. If the groom is earning lesser than her she shuns to lookup anymore for him. Her parents fuel her saying that ‘An unneeded ego problem may set in the future. Hence it is better not to go forward with such an alliance’. Even if the girl is able to understand the groom the parents don’t agree to the same because of the disparity on he monetary scale. I don’t see a viable point on where and why should the ego creep in. These days it is wiser for both men and women to earn to live a decent family life. It is natural to have a few penny ups and downs between each. But on the holistic perspective it is going to help their family. When the parents of the bride ensure total freedom to the girl in all other aspects they ensure to barricade her to take this decision to choose the groom based on such worse base ‘ego’ issue.
In older days girls were taught to be a versatile home managers but these days on the pretext of scholastic excellency and academic achievements they are made to forget their homely responsibilities. [Interruption by Views and Reviews Blogger: I have a point against this. This blogger supports women upliftment and hence I veto this point or the original author and at the same uphold the author’s view in another perspective. The parents of the bride ensure a versatility as a home manager too. I personally knew of a friend who migrated to UK after marriage but interestingly the bride didn’t even know how to even boil a water. The bride’s father was covering up the issue saying that she was their pet child]. A few questions to introspect for the parents of the girls:
- Even if the girls demands a groom with strong cash balances to suit her hands, have her parents mortgaged their brains?
- Is the cash and certificate going to fill their lineage or worse yet give sexual pleasures?
- Biologically sexual pleasures have a cap beyond a stipulated age. Delaying and/or procrastinating the marriage unduly just denies them those benefits (which are legally allowed).
- But going by the current facts the parents of the bride are not prepared to read all these. They just consider the girls as a product on whom they have invested for thirty years and they just want dividends/return of investments through the marriage setup.
Nature ensures that anyone gains sexual maturity right from the teens. With significant exposures to stimulant media and television channels and this unwarranted avaricious greed of the girl’s parents in blocking a normal marriage it might force her to see alternative channels and/or extra marital affairs. It is not her fault. It is her parent’s fault. The original author expresses that they knew girls who remain spinsters even beyond their thirties waiting for some one with more a lakh income.
The worst point is that the parents of the bride succumb as true evidence to antidote of the proverb ‘A bird in hand is worth two in the bush’. They do not even mind to break a wedding relationship and get the girl married to some one else too on confronting a more ‘potential’ groom. The worst point is that some of the parents of the bride even agree to give of their girls to some one outer-caste when the money demands are met more befittingly.
The author hayyram had made an excellent casestudy of these day marriages and I am sure this message is two hundred per cent apt to these days. The catch is that the greed of girls’ parents enable other negative elements of the society like the matrimony lawyers to make good a booty too. The author had mentioned about part 2 of the article but I could not locate the same yet. If some one has that URL, pl feel free to let me know if the same through comments either just as a URL or if possible translate it as a service to the society.
A screenshot of the original post is illustrated below for your ready cross-reference: