Humor


The recession seems to have stung Chennai Traffic Police too. For interestingly they are reeling under paucity of resources even to do their daily chores. Two incidents to prove this:

  1. Road signage not adhered  by users and there are no cops to monitor and penalize them.  Check out ‘The Hindu’ report here.25THROYAPETTAH_274438f
  2. The complaints in Chennai City Traffic Police regarding the various traffic snarls are remaining pending for more than 16 months now. Check out the list of complaints we submitted and that are still pending below.

Trust the government looks into the issues and get the issues sooner; sooner the better.

A proposal to HSBC to open a Hot and Sour Bottling Corporation

1)Name of the Agent: The agent told calling from HSBC Credit Cards (Mumbai) and he failed to introduce himself. He was arrogant and refused to tell his name too.
2)Time of the call 17:46
3)The number from which the call was made.
4) The number on which he had made the call. xxxxxxxxxx
5)The date on which the call was made. 13th January 2010

On the Pongal eve day me and a few of my friends were in a small tea shop in Ambal Nagar (Ekkaduthangal) where Vazhakkai (plantain) bajji is famous. There was one telemarketer who was calling at that time from the number +912230759100 around 6 PM. We just thought instead of chasing him away let us derive some concrete fun from him.

TM: Hello. We are calling from HSBC Credit Cards Division.
Me: Ok
TM: We are offering an attractive personal insurance product along with credit card.
Me: I have a more compelling and attractive requirement other than credit card now. Would you be able to serve that? The plantain bajji needs more chutney and we need some water also. Can you bring it first?
TM: We are calling from HSBC Credit Cards.
Me: So what? When HSBC can open so many initiatives like HSBC Direct and Canara HSBC, why can’t they open up water supply and beverages company. Also, slowly they should apply to TASMAC and you should endeavor to provide more value-added services to the customers. When you can violate NDNC, you should also have the guts to  venture into non-specialised areas.
TM: <bangs the phone and ran away>

I then wrote an email to HSBC for providing a good Pongal eve weekend entertainment and we also suggested that HSBC could seriously consider quitting banking business as soon as possible and open up Hot and Sour Bottling Corporation. While humor is one part of the story along with that as part of my good citizenship gesture, the incident of telemarketing violation has also been reported to appropriate authorities.

Indiscriminatory typos in place names with demonstrated callous attitude by businesses in Chennai
 
A while back we had a discussion on fading nameboards. This topic shares the same thought but assumes a little more broader scope in that a few businesses use their prowess and potential to even confuse the general public by changing the names of their places in their own whims and fancies. Bringing them to their kind attention is of no avail since they either underestimate the whole complaint/report or they have done it deliberately and intentionally to advance their sinister objectives.
 
I have a few sample incidents below:
 
  1. A quick sample of the various shop nameboards in Pallikaranai can reveal that the place name is spelt differently as Pallikarani and Pallikaranee. They have not spared even the most simple efforts of moving their little fingers to check against the government gazette on the correct name of the places.
  2. The reputed mobile chain store (WaveTel) was aggressively spreading the spelling of Thambaram for ‘Tambaram’ in every advertisement till recently and only now after a lot of hue and cry they have corrected it. Now they have again succumbed to another spell-kill. ‘Rajakilpakkam’ is being spelt as ‘Rajakillpakkam’.

Though you may call ‘What is in a name?’ there are a lot of things attached to a wrong name including confusions for tourists and new ones to a place. The best bet solution is to either consult the government gazette or if there is a railway station in that area, it is best to see what Indian Railways call that. It is an unanimous acceptance across the country to see if Indian Railways has a particular spelling that holds sway over everything else. Interestingly, if we take that for instance, the place where ‘Chennai Airport‘ is located is predominantly spelt as ‘Meenambakkam‘ whereas Indian Railways call it as ‘Minambakkam’

A Quick One Hour Amnesia of Bharti Airtel
 
As described in my good citizenship gesture, I duly reported the issue of Citibank telemarketing war to my cellular Operator (Bharti Airtel). I recieved an automatic acknowledgement in less than five minutes and a manual confirmation of registering a report within thirty minutes. Sounds good. Isn’t it. So far so good.
 
But the manual reply I got had the salutation like ‘Dear Mr. Krishnamurthy’. It had been duly addressed to some one else. That reflects how much care Bharti Airtel takes towards customer data security in quickly divulging one customer info to another. A few years back we have witnessed another incident wherein another customer’s bill was found tucked in along with mine in my envelop.
 
This has again been reported back to Bharti Airtel. Let us see how they are going to respond to this folly.
Citibank Telemarketing War
 
Even the previous telemarketing violation has not completed its investigation yet but the bleeding edge new year seems to have set their balls in motion so boisterously aggressive that one of the DSAs of Citibank India called in today regarding Indian Oil Titanium Card:

Calling Number: +914443504813
Called Date and Time: 4th January 2010 1544

The caller was telling her name was Priya and belonging to Ascent Management (DSA of Citibank) based from Adyar. Her supervisor was also not caring about NDNC and she did not have any knowledge of the same.

 
Perhaps, Citibank is thinking itself like Mohammed of Ghazni who invaded India seventeen times and they are thinking of persistently calling everyone repeatedly with an earnest endeavor that they would get more prey for their greedy hunger.
 
As part of my good citizenship gesture, the same has been duly reported to my network operator and channel authorities so that they can action upon the offenders.
Dreaded Numerical Juggleries
 
Recently we had an opportunity to see about a data jugglery unleashed by Citibank. Whilst I posted this, I just recalled about three similar incidents about numerical transpositions (aka) juggleries by similar organizations which I just thought I would share it across here:
 
Note: Specific account numbers and confidential numbers may have been masked or replaced suitably by fictious replacements for security reasons. If you are a statutory administration authority wanting more proof, please contact me through the ‘Contact Us’ form and I would be able to coordinate with you after due diligence verification of your credentials.
  1. Recently it happened that I had to close one of the previous organization’s salary account with Standard Chartered. The Standard Chartered was kind enough to send in a banker’s cheque for the amount of INR 95.56. When I duly deposited the same to the current Citibank ATM they had tried to process the cheque for the amount as INR 9556 encountering a cheque bounce and then again retrying the same. Are they so much blind to have missed the dot in the figure. Is ninety four thousand sixty rupees and forty four paise such silly amount of negligible difference for Citibank India?
  2. A few years back Birla Sun Life Insurance processed the premium payment. Though the premium amount was 2000 rupees and the policy number was like 96687, the premium paid receipt was showing as ‘Recieved with thanks the premium amount of Ninety Six Thousand Six Hundred and Eighty Seven only’. After bringing this to thier attention, they again sent me the corrected reciepts.
  3. This happened with Alagappa University. While my registration number was like 983214 and one of the marksheets was indicating the status for one of the papers as AAA (absent). After trying to bring in a comprehensive investigation it was found that the actual candidate who was absent from the examination was 983241. The examinations department had callously replaced the last two digits of the registration number.

I just thought I would share these simple-to-look numerical juggleries and transpositions of digits but which have significant and serious impact on the business on hand.

Citibank Date Jugglery
  
Whilst just updating the response from Citibank to my previous experience with them, I just realized another big folly that they had made with reference to the dates. Whilst the original report was registered with them on November 18th (which is succinctly visible from the same original email), the response given by them on November 19th clearly states as a reference to my report registered on November 28th 2009.
 
It looks like Citibank has a time machine which can travel ahead in future too. I have attached a sectional screenshot of the conversation along with this note for the information of everyone. Furthermore, this comes from the desk of their head customercare. I have also registered another note with them clarifying on this front. In the screenshot, I have masked the names, reference numbers and contact information leaving the offending dates alone marked and highlighted in red for quick reference.
 
Let me update this post with what they come up as a response to this issue.

Next Page »